MONDAY 8th

Rather than try any more washing I decide to buy some new clothes and head up to George street. I go into French Connection and try to find something that isn’t emblazoned with a phrase like ‘BEST FCUK IN TOWN’ or ‘FCUK THIS!’ I thought they’d dropped that whole miserable strategy anyway. Perhaps it’s working better in Scotland. I go for a nice old man type cardigan and head to the counter. “Doing a bit of shopping today?” asks the girl at the till as I wait to enter my PIN. Hmm, is this a trick question? “Yes, I’m buying this cardigan” I reply. “OK, lovely” she smiles. I guess shop assistants are the same everywhere then.

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