Rather than try any more washing I decide to buy some new clothes and head up to George street. I go into French Connection and try to find something that isn’t emblazoned with a phrase like ‘BEST FCUK IN TOWN’ or ‘FCUK THIS!’ I thought they’d dropped that whole miserable strategy anyway. Perhaps it’s working better in Scotland. I go for a nice old man type cardigan and head to the counter. â€œDoing a bit of shopping today?â€ asks the girl at the till as I wait to enter my PIN. Hmm, is this a trick question? â€œYes, I’m buying this cardiganâ€ I reply. â€œOK, lovelyâ€ she smiles. I guess shop assistants are the same everywhere then.