November 26, 2005

UPDATE 24th NOVEMBER 2005

by Adam

UPDATE 24th NOVEMBER 2005

Wow! Look at this! I’m doing another update only 4 days after the last one. I’m on some kind of delicious roll!

KEN ON THE LAST WORD NEWS

Tonight’s edition of The Last Word (11pm More 4) features Ken talking about why his adaptation of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire is superior to the Warner Brothers version currently on release. He makes his case with extracts from his original adaptation and storyboards. This is partly because I thought it would be funny and partly because Warner Brothers would not allow us to use any footage from the film, despite having sent us the EPK and being reassured that we weren’t going to take the piss at all (which they shouldn’t have any right to demand in the first place really). I actually quite liked the miserable film for what it’s worth.

Next week I’m going to tackle Flightplan, which started out being the most fun I’ve had at the cinema in ages but ended up being a shockingly poor lump. It was still fun mind you. Anyway, rather than get into the critical ins and outs of it, Ken’s going to do a short Flightplan musical (his original idea for how the film should be made, vetoed by a tone deaf Foster.) This will involve some bad singing and guitar playing, so fasten your seat belts, you’re in for some aural turbulence! (that’s the kind of thing they say on planes you see?)

XFM NEWS

It looks as if Joe and I will be staying on at Xfm until about April next year when we’ll have to take a break for various work commitments. I’m glad about that because it is generally great fun to do and it’s the only opportunity Joe and I get to work together at the moment. We’ll be at Xfm’s Winter Wonderland gig on Sunday 11th December. We’re supposed to be introducing The Editors. I haven’t really heard much of their stuff so I suppose I should get on the case before then. It’s going to be a busy night for me because after we’ve introduced them I have to cycle back to Clapham for a quick stand up slot in a new club called…

SIT DOWN SUNDAYS, SUNDAY 11TH DECEMBER 2005

This takes place once a month at The Landor Theatre, at 8pm. Book early to avoid disappointment.

Address: Upstairs in the Landor Pub

        70 Landor Road,

        London, SW9 9PH

       (2 mins' walk from Clapham North tube station)

The box office number is: 020 7737 7276

Or you can book online at www.landortheatre.co.uk

Google map.

As far as I know it’s a little like the comedy evenings I was doing earlier in the year at The Zetter Hotel in Clerkenwell, ie a place for people to try out new character based stuff without fear of violent reprisals. There’s a few Ealing Live people doing stuff there next time (John Hopkins and Katie Brand so far) and I’ll probably do my new American film star character Guy which I did once at the Zetter and once a few weeks ago at Storm in Leicester Square. Or I may do another character called General Tony who is a furious alien warlord. If you have The Adam & Joe DVD you can see him briefly in a very early incarnation on The Story Of Adam & Joe. I always wanted to do more with him and a few weeks ago I was playing Bowie’s Five Years on my guitar and I started singing it very, very fast in a furious alien voice. It made me chuckle so I thought I might give it a try in public but I may chicken out. I need to make a decent costume for him or something.

THE WORST THING I’VE SEEN ALL WEEK

I was working in Camden and I needed something to eat on the go so I ended up going in to Pret A Manger (or is it just ‘Pret’ without the ‘Manger’, as the state of readiness is more important than the actual food?) As I was paying for my box of plasticky sushi I read the small sign on the till that said something like “We are legally obliged to add VAT to all non takeaway purchases” adding at the end the word “Nightmare!”

I’m sure this was the idea of some Pret genius who thought that a bit of contemporary Davina McCall style colloquialism would make the customers feel more like a real friend of Pret. But I am not a friend of Pret. I just want a snack. I’ve had to make do with Pret because I don’t want a burger and there’s nowhere else around selling anything halfway edible so I’m going to give Pret my money as a last resort and unless Pret is going to pop into the kitchen and whip me up something a little more appetizing than the old shit on his stainless steel shelves Pret can just shut up, take my money, say thankyou and leave it at that. But don’t try and make friends with me! Don’t follow your legal disclaimer with some sub Kate Thornton banter as if I’m going to think “Nightmare!” Yeah, tell me about it Pret! Good to know you’re on my side man! I’m lovin’ this rubbery sushi by the way! Fuck Pret.

My friends and family often accuse me of taking things too seriously. I don’t know why. To me being patronized by a sandwich corporation is serious and to be anything less than theatrically apoplectic seems remiss. So why aren’t I out campaigning to stop the war in Iraq if I’m so very serious then? You may well ask. I’m starting by complaining about Pret and moving on to the war in Iraq in a few weeks if you must know. Once I start complaining about the war in Iraq on this website I think you’ll find things get straightened out there pretty quickly.

Adam Buxton

November 26, 2005