April 27, 2007
GAFFE NEWS!
BUG, WIZ, McAVOY & MEADOWS
So last night I hosted the first BUG pop video night at the BFI Southbank (formerly the NFT, re-branding fans) and on the whole it was a good show I think. I came a bit unglued when it was time for me to interview 6 up and coming video types on stage at the same time though. I felt as if I didn’t really have the interview skills to get the best out of them and my anxiety was compounded when throughout the evening a bloke at the back of the auditorium kept calling out random questions. He seemed especially keen to talk about the work of top video director WIZ who had 2 videos being shown on the night. Because I wasn’t really prepared to take questions from the audience and he was anyway being fairly oblique, I deflected his enquiries in a hopefully humorous and not too insulting way to allow me to keep the evening moving.
I was concerned that the guy may have felt snubbed however and when the show was over I tracked him down to apologise. He turned out to be wheelchair bound which probably for all the wrong reasons, made me feel worse about having cut him off in mid flow, but he was perfectly nice about it and we chatted for a while about the videos we’d just seen. He was with a couple of friends one of whom started videoing me as I was talking which I guess made me quite uncomfortable but not wanting to be precious I didn’t say anything. Eventually he asked me what I thought of one of WIZ’s videos for Dizzee Rascal that we’d shown and I explained that although I really like a lot of WIZ-works, it wasn’t my favourite. He asked me why and I tried to explain that I thought some of the imagery (grotesque fox hunting toffs on horseback chasing down Dizzee, police-style, in a grim nocturnal estate) was a little lame and heavy handed. I’d just finished explaining when my brother showed up and I said my goodbyes and went off to chat to him.
A few minutes later someone told me that the guy filming me was WIZ. The bloke who’d been asking questions was his mate. In fact it had crossed my mind when I said hello that it might be WIZ, who I’d met very briefly when I hosted the CAD awards last year, but I didn’t recognise him and I just decided by the way his friend was talking about his stuff as if he wasn’t sat right there, that it couldn’t be him. Well, the fact that I’d cut WIZ’s friend off in the show and then described his video as lame as he filmed me doing so was enough to make feel quite ill. Of course I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean and I did preface my comments by saying I really like most of his stuff but…aaaargh! I hate it when people make a point of coming up to me and telling how much they dislike what I do, so to do it to someone else like that (albeit unknowingly) made me just want to die immediately. Oh when will time travelling become practical and affordable? Maybe that’s not what I need though. I’d be zipping back and forth correcting gaffes so often my life would effectively stand still.
Anyway, apart from putting my foot in it with legendary promo directors it was a fun night and I believe, the first of many at the BFI for BUG. The next one is on July 5th. Now I’m off to try and find the DVD of Starter For 10 that I rented from Blockbuster and was due to return today, which my youngest son ejected from the DVD player and hid when we were out of the room. We’ve tortured him quite badly (played loud Robbie Williams, teased him about his ridiculous hair etc.) but he’s not saying where he put the frigging disc. My eldest son Frank did the same thing with a borrowed copy of Dig a few years ago and it turned out he’d stuffed down between the floorboards. I wonder how much Blockbuster will charge me for the Starter For 10 disc? If it’s not more than about £30 I won’t mind because I loved the film. It’s fairly by the numbers but James McAvoy in particular provides so many brilliant moments that that it doesn’t feel in the least bit pointless and thin the way a few British films can. There’s one scene where he goes on a date and ends up crying in front of this hot girl that makes you realise why he’s getting so much work. And Mark Gatiss as Bamber Gascoigne! Ah haaa haaa!! He’s fucking great!
Speaking of fucking great Brit film geezers (this is turning into Guy Ritchie’s blog…) I’m excited about the South Bank Show on ITV this Sunday at 11pm. It’s all about Shane Meadows new film This Is England which is apparently er, fucking great. Can’t wait for that. If you’ve still not seen Shane Meadows film Dead Man’s Shoes starring Paddy Considine who also co wrote the thing, it’s on Film Four on Monday at 11.15pm. It’s the one to beat although I see that Rotten Tomatoes, a collection of reviews from US critics has some bafflingly lukewarm write ups for it. “The film is filled with deeply unpleasant and stupid people whose vapid speech is largely incomprehensible due to thick regional accents.†?!! That from the Hollywood Reporter no less! Critics eh? Not much better than the comments on You Tube for goodness sake. On that note, here’s a You Tube peach you may well have enjoyed already but it’s a tasty one! It was made by Saam Farahmand, one of the directors I was talking to last night at BUG. Now, one last Starter For 10 search before the long walk to Blockbuster…
April 25, 2007
MIXED NEWS!
Lots to report today so I’ll try to be briefer than usual! First of all you may have noticed I’ve tried to make things a little more straightforward by putting some basic Buxton based info in the grey bar above. The WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE? section contains a reasonably exhaustive CV along with a few new informational morcels for you my dotcomrades! Now in other news…
SOME STANDING ROOM TICKETS LEFT FOR OUT OF FOCUS GROUP 14!
There are no tables left but I think if you call now you should be able to guarantee yourself entry on the night by pre-booking your ticket. As I said before it’s not a long show and you shouldn’t be too uncomfortable so it’s not a bad option at all!
Call now on 0207 324 4455!
TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE FOR ‘BUG’ @ NFT TOMORROW!
A reminder that I’m hosting the first ‘BUG’ at the NFT tomorrow night (Thursday 26th April 2007). It’s an evening of brilliant new music videos and one or two interviews with hot and moody directors. It’s getting quite full but I think there are still seats available. Details for booking tickets and info about the night here.
One of the directing teams we’ll be featuring in video form tomorrow night are the extraordinary Encyclopedia Pictura, a group of San Francisco based film makers who are making work that is completely unlike anything else around at the moment. Their website is a total treat. I strongly recommend you look at every single thing on there. That sounds like a lot of hyperbole doesn’t it? I really don’t think it’s excessive though, there’s something very special going on there. I mean, check this out…
If nothing about that gets you excited then you and I should think about seeing a counsellor.
ADAM & JOE COKE NEW MUSIC PODCAST 7 OUT NOW!
I just listened to it and it’s a bit of a weird one. I was a bit frazzled when we recorded it and once or twice my brain shut down completely. You can just hear me drifting off! I think I’m going to have to ask our producer Ben to be a bit more brutal in the edit next time! There’s still a few enjoyable moments there though so do check it out. Subscribe free on I-tunes or the Coke Music website, although it tends to be available on I-tunes a few days before the Coke website.
Thanks, and maybe see you tomorrow or next week!
April 18, 2007
LIVE NEWS!
OUT OF FOCUS GROUP 14, BOOKING NOW FOR 2nd MAY!
The booking line is now open for the 14th Out Of Focus Group, my irregular evening of live and video comedy that takes place in a cosy subterranean room of the super chic Zetter Hotel, 36-38 Clerkenwell Road, London (nearest tube: Farringdon). When you buy tickets (priced at £7.50) you can either book a table, in which case you will be able to order very fine food to help soak up the comedy, or you can purchase a slightly cheaper ticket (for £5.00) which will get you in but won’t guarantee you a seat (although it’s a relatively brisk show with a decent interval so it shouldn’t be too uncomfortable!) The tables tend to go quickly so please don’t be surprised if the standing room option is the only one offered to you. The main thing is that we’re together…
The number to call is 0207 324 4455, which is the number for the Zetter restaurant so you’ll need to say you’re phoning to book tickets for the Out Of Focus Group on May 2nd.
Appearing on the night will be Out Of Focus regulars Jo Neary and Tony Law as well as an exciting mystery guest (and on this occasion I really do have an exciting mystery guest, it’s not just code for ‘I haven’t got anyone else but I’m really hoping some fucker will say yes before 2nd May!’) My contribution as ever will be in the form of videos between the acts, many of which will be familiar to you if you follow my stuff on You Tube, but I always try to throw in an extra couple of previously unseen items too. As well as the videos I’ll be doing a bit of MCing and probably some old character stuff having promised myself I’d write some new material then run out of time so if you’ve been before you may experience some déjà vu, although not sadly with Denzel Washington. See you there!
April 9, 2007
TV AND BENDY NEWS!
HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU NEWS & JAZZ QUEENS
Regular readers of this navel gazing newsletter will know that towards the end of last year I got all excited because I was due to be appearing on the BBC’s venerated low reverence news quiz, Have I Got News For You (now just starting its 245th season or something). Anyway, my excitement turned to humiliation when I was ‘bumped’ in favour of Sue Perkins. Something about getting more women on the show (not to belittle Sue who did a fine job!) Amazingly and true to their word, the producers of HIGNFY have asked if I will appear on the new series! I’ve said yes of course, and I’m waiting to hear back about a date. I’ll let you know when they bump me for Joe.
For now here’s a very dusty cornflake from the Adam & Joe vaults. This was one of the first videos we made when we were doing the pilot for The Adam & Joe Show (then called Stüffe) although it ended up being shown on the second series of Takeover TV I recall. You can see a bit of it on The Adam & Joe DVD but here’s the full version with the music we originally used but were unable to clear: Duke Ellington’s Rockin’ In Rhythm, which you can find on the wonderful Singing Detective soundtrack. This was another song that our friend Zac Sandler came up with one day with Joe and during a stoned weekend away with friends in 1995 we all wrote some extra lyrics and recorded it on my old 4 track then made the video in various people’s gardens that summer . I think The Jazz Queens were supposed to be louche detectives from the 30’s but this was as far as we got with developing that notion and the video certainly doesn’t give many clues as to what the nature of their work might have been. I’m sure there’s a series in it somewhere though. OK, maybe not.
April 4, 2007
INTERVIEW NEWS
O RUSSELL’S WIG & B3TA INTERVIEW
Well, it’s been a few days and I’ve digested David O Russell and his wig. I don’t think there’s much I can add to the whole thing other than to say it’s a little disappointing to find that maybe his fall out with George Clooney on the set of Three Kings was more down to him than Clooney who I was much more excited about disliking (especially after trying to stay awake through Goodnight And Good Luck having been told by everyone how AMAZING and IMPORTANT it was. Jesus of Christmas!) But hey, everyone’s allowed to blow their wig once in a while, right? Especially when they’re dealing with actors who can be the most infuriatingly obtuse people at the exact point a director needs them to just do the job they’re being paid a lot of money to do, which sometimes comes down to just doing what you’re told even though it may ‘go against your instincts’. (Here’s more Huckabees friction from Tomlin to illustrate although she seems cool enough about it all now). I guess if you’re going to go all nutty at them it’s best not be filmed doing it is the thing. David O Russell is great though. I wasn’t a massive fan of Huckabees but Three Kings is just about perfect for my money. He can call me a cunt any time.
Anyway, I’ve just been answering a string of ludicrous questions sent to me by Rob Manuel of B3TA who have been kind enough to feature a few of my You Tube clips in the past so I thought I’d post the full screed here for you as a kind of pathetic exclusive with the only person who’ll give me an interview! Just before that though, in the course of plugging our Coke podcasts for this I was checking the link and noticed that beneath the little biog thing they have for us are these LOVES and HATES:
Loves: 100 greatest’ TV shows.
Hates: The industry, the establishment, the man. Jamie Theakston.
Presumably someone was being ironic but just in case there’s any confusion we do not in any way love 100 Greatest TV Shows and if we were really the kind of people who proclaimed our hatred for ‘the industry, the establishment and the man’ we probably wouldn’t be doing a podcast for Coca Cola. Also neither of us has anything against Jamie Theakston at all. While we’re clearing up misconceptions that are threatening to plunge the world into deeper turmoil, I like and admire Leigh Francis of Bo Selecta fame very much.
OK, let’s move on to this important interview, which is made up from questions posed by the users of B3TA. As an exercise in pointless time wasting I tried to answer every single question I was sent. Thank fuck I’m not in a band. If I had to do this kind of thing more than once a year I’d be on heroin like a shot!
B3TA INTERVIEW
NOW
Who pays more? The BBC or C4? (Lanc)
Unless you get more than about 4 million viewers for any one thing you do, TV doesn’t pay that well anywhere, especially these days. Advertising, now that’s different…
What have you been doing for the last 10 years? (Hummel)
Hiding from you.
What was it like working with Armando Iannucci? (connor)
I didn’t see him that often as most of my Time Trumpet bits I did on my own in my studio, but on the days when we had meetings or we were shooting the talking heads stuff, he was scrupulously polite, funny, encouraging and well groomed. I like him very much.
How is YouTube changing the process of getting comedy on TV? (Monty Propps)
Now they can steal all their ideas from just one place. I’m joking! The best way to get people in television excited about something is to just make it yourself so they can see what you’re on about. Then if you can put it up somewhere like You Tube it means they don’t have to go to all the effort of unwrapping a package, reading your crap letter and loading a tape or a DVD (which often won’t work in their shit old machines). Now of course it’s a question of whether it needs to be on TV at all. There’s all sorts of financial opportunities opening up on the net for people making their own stuff and TV is looking more and more like an unnecessary headache fraught with compromise and unhelpful second guessing. It still seems somehow more legitimate though doesn’t it?
Did your mainly student audience grow with you? Or are you now making comedy for another lot of poncy student grant types? (mongychops)
Don’t know about that. People that come to my gigs or say hello in the street are either my age or about 18. They’re never poncy though and I can’t tell if they have grants. They deserve them.
Do you use YouTube for material you know you’d never be able to clear, copyright-wise, if it were on a traditional TV channel? (Fraser)
In part, yes.
How long did it take to learn the words to ‘Help the Police’? (pep)
3 days.
Are you really like that dad in the car (you are, aren’t you?) (pep)
Yes.
Do you feel insulted when… I say that I thought Jimmy Carr played Tim Messenger in Hot Fuzz? (Palmer the person )
Not in the least. Jimmy has always commented on our round faced similarities. I’m a little less successful and a little rounder in the face, but it I’d rather people mistake me for him than oh I dunno, Hitler.
Has Joe Cornish turned into a bitter and twisted hermit due to your new lease of fame? (prodigy69)
Is this my new lease of fame? Could you tell me when the lease runs out? I think Joe now owns his fame so he’s certainly not jealous of my lease.
Want to pimp your latest project? Then pimp it here – hard. (Rob)
Project pimping, hmmm. Well it would be great if people would check out our Coke podcasts on I-tunes or the [Coke Music website] but apart from that I’m working on a couple of things which I’ll be able to say more about when they’re more advanced. If people are interested the best place to find out more is my blog.
GENERAL
Who the bloody hell are you? (Much easier than checking wikipedia) (god save the queen)
Just a man. With a man’s courage.
Should we be more concerned that Google are trying to take over the world? (Prof Undercover)
They’ve asked me to be king of quite a large part of it, so yes, I think you should be very concerned because I’m going to be a very bad king.
What would you mostly likely have ended up as if the funny thing didn’t work out? (Prof Undercover)
Glad you think it’s worked out. I would have carried on being a bartender. Still might go back to it. It’s a fun job. Have you seen Cocktail? That’s exactly what it’s like.
Do you sleep with your beard over or under the covers? (Afinkawan)
I’m clean shaven at the mo. When it was giant it lay above the covers in it’s own little sleeping bag.
Aren’t you old Westminsters? How did school affect your humour? (The Alchemist)
When you get there they inject you with a cocktail of hauteur and self hate. It’s a delicious blend, which informs a lot of what we do.
Tell us what Dido was like at school? (Rob)
She was a few years below us and anyway, if she was blonde and sexy she wouldn’t have given us the time of day. Giles Coren (of Times restaurant critic and channel 5 film show fame) was a contemporary of ours though and he was a twat for a long while, but then he went nice and we got to be friends. I was a twat too mind. Other old Westminsters include synth pop pioneer Thomas Dolby, scandal prone education secretary Ruth Kelly, Bush ponce /Gwen Stefani foil Gavin Rossdale and genius drunky Shane McGowan (who was expelled unsurpsingly). See? The world’s full of public school wankers. We’re not so bad!
What about Louis Theroux? (brianftang)
He’s a very old friend. He was always annoyingly clever but very funny. You can see footage of him from those days in the extras on our Adam & Joe DVD. He was always one of those people you knew was going to do alright.
What’s the most ridiculous bit of trivia you know? (Afinkawan)
Robbie Williams
Would you ever go on Big Brother? Why? (pep)
Don’t think so. It’s evil. Didn’t you know?
Will you lend me £10? (the RAND corporation)
Surely that’s the oldest thing you can put as a question in one of these things. If you’re genuinely in trouble, I’ll see what I can do.
Who’s your favourite comedian/comedy show? (mofaha)
I’m sort of obsessed with the Boosh and Snuff Box right now. All that lot are hard to beat in my book. Tony Law makes me really laugh. Joanna Neary. Vic and Bob, Harry Enfield, oh you know, the usual people. I’ve just got a DVD of this Irish show called Soupy Norman which is a Polish soap that was re-edited and re-voiced by Barry Murphy and Mark Doherty, a couple of legendary Irish comics who did some stuff for Time Trumpet (they did the Dragon’s Den stuff). It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time and it’s in 10 minute chunks so if someone hasn’t put it on You Tube yet, it has to be a matter of time before they do.
What music do you like ? (connor)
Indie/arty pop mainly but a bit of everything really. Pixies, Bowie, Frank Black, Tortoise, Eels, Kings Of Leon, Built To Spill, Guided By Voices, Travis, James Brown, Radiohead, Jim Noir, Guillemots, Yo La Tengo, Beach Boys, The Shins, The Fall, Sparks, Beatles, Dylan, Eno, Talking Heads, Magazine, Spoon, Silver Jews, lots and lots! I wish I was a great musician more than anything.
What websites do you visit obsessively ? (connor)
Don’t really visit any one obsessively but Graham Linehan’s blog is always interesting as is Fat Pies.
What nerdy thing did you do recently ? (connor)
I went to a BBC ‘talent’ dinner last night and sat round the table were, Harry Enfield, Paul Whitehouse, Dara O’Brien, the bloke from Top Gear who nearly died, Paul Merton, Jack Dee, Mitchell & Webb, Ian Hislop, Graham Norton, Dom from Dick’n'Dom, Claudia Winkleman and a load of other well known faces. I waited til everyone was pretty pissed then got out my camera and starting snapping away until I started to get weird looks and one of the waiters came over and asked me to stop. I think he thought I’d sneaked in. Is that nerdy enough? Maybe it’s just uncool.
Why the hell did you grow a beard? (P3te)
- To help me ‘get into character’ for my Edinburgh show in 2005
- To see if I could
- To hide my double chin.
Daddy or chips? (SkUG)
Fuck Daddy. Fuck chips.
Have you ever smeared Marmite over your face and pretended to be a badger? (ShittingBabies)
Nice name there ‘ShittingBabies’. Is that an old Navajo moniker? I think you know I haven’t smeared Marmite on my face and pretended to be a badger. You’re just working some kind of angle aren’t you?
Have you ever raced midgets? (ShittingBabies)
You again? What’s your angle?! Should I pretend I have raced Midgets? Would that make me look good? Would you be happy about it? Where can it all go?
Have you ever worn womens underwear? (Sticky Label)
Yes.
What’s the meaning of life? (connor)
If you’re looking for it on the internet you’re in for a frustrating trek.
Where do babies come from? (ShittingBabies)
Oh Christ. Amazon. Is that the right answer?
I caught my penis in my zipper before a school play once. What have you done to your penis? (ShittingBabies)
What is this, a zany private audience with ShittingBabies? Yes I caught my knob in my fly too. It really hurt. Now what?
Batman or Superman? (I bet it’s Batman) (mofaha)
Bad betting there mofaha. It’s Superman.
Do you find ginger people aborent? (KaiserPro)
Some very disappointing spelling here chaps, come on buck up! Finding ginger people abhorrent is like finding David Hasselhoff kitsch and amusing. A bad use of time.
What did you want to do when you were younger? (Palmer the person )
I wanted to be either an astronaut, a corner shop owner or a gynaecologist. True.
How would he have made the Star Wars Prequels good? (HappyToast)
Who’s ‘he’? George Lucas? Well he should have got people like me and Jimmy Carr to do cameos in them. Then they would have been amazing! Justin Lee Collins would have made a brilliant Chewie come to think of it. It’s all in the casting.
Should Gillian McKeith be destroyed? (Watney Heckbulb uhnnnnnnnn)
Maybe not destroyed but sequestered certainly.
Do you know Dom Jolly? Is he as big a prick as I imagine? (Prof Undercover)
Don’t really know him. I’m told he’s alright.
How many pillows do you like to sleep with? (Letum)
Can’t believe you bothered to type that question and I’m bothering to reply. Isn’t the internet amazing!? I sleep with one pillow.
Have you ever thrown dog poo into your neighbour’s garden? (The Neville)
Fuck dogs. Fuck poo. Fuck neighbours and Fuck gardens. Is that unequivocal enough for you?
If you could have one thing in the entire world named after you, what would it be? And why? (The Neville)
Ricky Gervais. Then everyone would think I was a genius.
How do you get your spring water tasting so watery? (Count Vanderhoff)
Yeah.
What were the best and worst nicknames you ever got given? (Afinkawan)
BEST: Let me see… on a good day I used to get called Genius Boy, Rimshot Masterclass, Fiery Apollo 5000, The Lazer Briefcase, Jimmy Bignutz, Harrison Ford, Cleverhandsome or Jesus Strength. WORST: On a bad day it would be either Failure Face, Shitlamp, The Ugly Man, Shit On Face, Shithair, Dogshit Face & Neck, Fat Queer or Shit Instead Of Head. I think some of the names came from the fact that I had a bit of shit near my head in those days. Kids can be cruel.
Tell us a joke? (rob)
Fuck jokes.
ADAM AND JOE
Who’s got this biggest penis? You or Joe? (ShittingBabies)
ShittingBabies, back with the hard-hitting questions again. I’ve never seen Joe’s winky but he tells me it’s large. I’m medium/large so I guess Joe has the edge.
Tell us about the disturbed cat featured in the adam and joe show intro? (mofaha)
If you’re nerdy enough to be asking me about disturbed cats you should be nerdy enough to know we did a different title sequence for each series so I’m not sure which one would have featured the cat in question. Doesn’t ring any bells though, sorry.
Whose star wars figures did you use for the Adam and Joe show? (ShittingBabies)
Those were mine. My Ma saved them in the attic all those years, along with many of the old toys that we exploited so relentlessly on the show. Good old Ma.
Was the piss up in the brewery the single greatest dare ever pulled off? (ShittingBabies)
Piss Up In A Brewery was one of our slightly better stunts/pranks. It’s not exactly world class as far as daring goes though is it? Dick & Dom kicked our ass many times on that front.
Who was the giver, Adam or Joe Cornish? (Bats)
Is this an anal sex question? I bet you’re straight, right Bats? Why do straight men LOVE chatting about bottom sex so much more than any gay man I’ve ever met? But maybe this is not a bottom question but a charity question. If so, I’m the giver. And if not.
What’s your favourite song you’ve made? Mine was the Jazz Queens! (ShittingBabies)
Jazz Queens was a good one, glad you like it. I personally think the Robert De Niro Calypso takes some beating. I could listen to that one for pleasure.
Should Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Dad stand for parliament? (ShittingBabies)
That would be deeply depressing. I know I wasn’t supposed to take that question seriously but I suddenly did.
What was the greatest idea put forward that you weren’t allowed to use? (Neon Blue)
Well we pretty much used everything we ever came up with, didn’t you notice? I always wanted to leave a bike unattended and film from a distance as some shitbird went to steal it then I’d jump out and confront them, but that idea got over-ruled every time I brought it up for being too lame and pointless. Then a few years later there was a show called SWAG on Channel 5 that did exactly that. And it was lame and pointless.
What’s Baaad Dad up to nowadays, and how did he cope with the fame? (jme)
He lives by the Sussex Downs where he enjoys walking and drinking expensive booze. He loves it when he gets recognised. He calls me up and tells me all about it every time.
Has george lucas ever demanded royalties? or made any other comments about your old starwars toy sketches? (mutated monty)
No. The closest we came to hearing from the Lucas camp was when we passed on a tape of some of our Star Wars toy things to Rick McCallum (producer of the prequels who used to frequent a shop run by a friend of ours). He told our friend that George had seen them and thought we were ‘crazy’. The question is, did he mean crazy-brilliant or crazy-nutty or just crazy-unhappy? Or was it the more likely crazy-what-a-pair-of-twats? Whichever way he wasn’t feeling litigious about it.
Would you come round my house and record an episode of “Vinly Justice” starring me an’ my record collection? (The Neville)
That’s just not practical The Neville. Plus I used to hate doing those things anyway. Only Stereolab and Frank Black ever made us feel properly welcome. Otherwise it was invariably awkward and uncomfortable (mainly our fault for invading their real houses, dressing up like freaks and doing bad comedy copper voices). Actually Cerys Matthews was very nice too. And Gary Numan. The rest of them were cunts. Except for Nick Heyward and Neil Hannon. And Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci. OK, it was just Dave Navarro who was a cunt. And Dweezil Zappa (Ahmet and Moon Unit were nice). Ray Manzarek was bit of a toolkit too. Mark E Smith started off being nice then went cunty for a while then went back to being nice. It was stressful though. I can’t go through all that again, not even for you The Neville.