May 23, 2007
RADIO NEWS!
FABULOUS, RADIO 4, WEDNESDAY NIGHTS @ 11PM
I’m in a new Radio 4 sitcom called Fabulous by Lucy Clarke about ‘a woman who wants to be fabulous but can’t cope’. You can catch up with it here. I don’t suppose Lucy would thank me for saying so but it’s kind of a cross between Bridget Jones and Smack The Pony although that doesn’t do it justice (especially the Bridget Jones part! Aaargh! Bridget FUCKING Jones!!!) Anyway Fabulous features some of the best comedy actresses and actors around at them moment including Daisy Haggard, Olivia Coleman, Katy Brand, Laura Solon and the amazing Matt Holness (he’s like a magician of mirth you see). I play various parts and mumble deliberately incoherently as Daisy’s boyfriend, a little like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons who if you recall, were all represented by muted trumpets, which as a boy I found rather disturbing. Anyway, I think it’s a great show and I’m delighted to be involved with it, so check it! It’s only 15 minutes, so how wrong could you go? Oh, and speaking of Charlie Brown, here’s a nicely done jive dub I found on You Tube that made me chuckle a little guiltily…
May 20, 2007
LOTS OF NEWS!
SORRY IT’S BEEN A WHILE BUT…
I’ve been busy. I’m currently rehearsing for a Channel 4 pilot with the working title Modern Men, written by Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong, the insanely talented men behind Peep Show. I’ve done quite a few pilots over the last year and sadly (or mercifully in a few cases) they haven’t gone any further. I really hope this one gets the nod though because it’s very funny and the rest of the cast is top notch. I won’t say any more about it just yet for fear of jinxing the barnicle but if anything exciting develops I’ll let you know. Now here’s more of the latest thrilling lint from my attractive navel.
BBC PILOT NEWS!
I got some great news the other day. The BBC have commissioned a pilot from me for a show containing the kind of videos I’ve been posting on You Tube this last year as well as some character stuff. It’s by no means big budget but they’re giving me as long as I need to deliver it so I’m hoping to put together something very disappointing. I’m joking of course, it should only be mildly disappointing. The ultimate plan is for there to be some kind of website that would exist in tandem with the show (as the whole thing will be very much inspired by the net and sites like You Tube, albeit featuring all new material, not stuff we’ve got off the web) where you’d be able to see everything in the TV version plus lots more in the same vein. Anyway, while I’m working on the pilot I probably won’t be posting much new video material unless it’s something, like the Nissan ad below, that I know I wouldn’t be able to use for clearance reasons. There’s still a lot of good quality ballcrap in the vaults though so don’t despair! I’ll keep you updated now and then on my pilot progress. Fingers crossed!
JOE ON MY SPACE NEWS!
One of the questions I get asked most frequently is ‘what’s Joe up to?’ Well, now you can find out as Joe has his own My Space page here. At the moment his My Space page is certainly more fun packed than mine and I feel a little guilty every time I add a new friend because it’s unlikely to get more exciting any time soon. I was trying to make it more sexy a while ago but I got angry with the fact that I couldn’t put up my own piece of audio unless I had a ‘musician’ account and then I thought ‘what am I doing on My Space when I’ve got an amazing blog right here?’ and then I had a lie down. My advice is not to bother with me on My Space, but give Joe’s page a look!
FAQ NEWS!
Apart from ‘what’s Joe up to?’ there seem to be a handful of questions that I get asked a lot so I’ve added a new FAQ section at the top of this page to deal with some of those.
OTHER SHITE!
If you’re a fan of brief Q&A’s (and who isn’t?) here’s one that I did for a website for aspiring media types called Media Circus.
There’s a mention of Adam & Joe along with our old friends Louis Theroux and Giles Coren in The Word magazine this month. It’s the issue with Nick Cave on the cover. I was wondering the other day if Nick Cave fans refer to themselves as ‘Cavemen’, as in “Are you a Caveman?†“Are you kidding? I’m a giant Caveman!†etc. They’re missing a trick if they don’t, surely! Anyway, we’re mentioned in a piece about ’stars in the making’ who knew eachother at school.
The piece is factually accurate but the photograph features Louis, myself and Joe with my brother David, not Giles Coren as is kind of implied by the caption. I think they probably got the pic from David’s sadly no longer maintained Adam & Joe site so they must have known full well that it wasn’t Giles but thought, ‘oh fuckit, he could pass for him’ and stuck it in. I’m not complaining though and I’m flattered that The Word included us, but I thought I’d give Dave a shout out. The picture incidentally is from around Christmas 1995 and it’s my Mum and Dad’s old house in Clapham. It was a tradition in those days for Lou and Joe to come over on Christmas eve and have some booze while my Dad regaled us with tales of debauchery from his youth. In fact it was these Christmas eve sessions that lead to Louis encouraging us to include my Pa in The Adam & Joe Show, which of course we eventually did.
In other old photo news. I was rooting through some old crap in the attic the other day and I found this picture of myself as a carefree 23 year old bartender with a young lady customer I had charmed into the restaurant photobooth with my special people skills and booze.
Needless to say that’s as raunchy as things got and I never saw her again until a few months ago when I was watching Lost, the ridiculous yet enjoyable mystery island soap. Recognise her yet? Give up? OK, click here. That’s right, it’s Penny, erstwhile girlfriend of Desmond (catchphrase ‘you alright brother?’)! What are the chances eh? Thought I’d share that with you, it doesn’t really go anywhere. Maybe if she reads this she can send me a message of some kind to complete a rather underwhelming circle. And with that, I bid you goodlunch.
May 7, 2007
LIVE & TV NEWS!
HAVE I GOT LAST WEEK’S NEWS FOR YOU? (yes, I do.)
A spot of dirty British bank holiday weather has given me the opportunity to fill you in on last week’s exciting doings in my stupid hamlet. On Wednesday night the 14th Out Of Focus group, my semi regular evening of live comedy and vids. took place at The Zetter Hotel in Clerkenwell. Thanks to all of you who came along, apologies to those of you who tried and failed to get a ticket, and to those of you who didn’t even consider coming for a second I extend a small portion of withering contempt. It was another good one I think. I was MC-ing this time, which I haven’t done before, because I hadn’t had time to write any new character stuff and didn’t want to trot out the same routine I’ve done the last few times. I’ll trot it out next time. Anyway, it meant that I was able to relax a bit more than I normally would and see how the audience responded to a couple of new video things I was showing for the first time. I was also able to watch the other performers, which was great fun (usually I’m cowering in the green room, dressed up as one of my hilarious characters). Jo Neary and Tony Law were on top form and our special mystery guest, the hugely talented, celebrated and tall Stephen Merchant also done wicked with his tales of short sighted sexual disaster, although my Dad who was there that night, was a little scandalised by some of Stephen’s more graphic references!
The following day I started intensively cramming for my appearance on Have I Got News For You. I’d only been told a few days before that I was definitely going to be on the show and because I was frantically trying to get my videos finished to show at the Zetter, I hadn’t had time to read the papers as thoroughly as I would have liked. Instead I trawled through the BBC News webshite with Sky news on in the background. This must be what it’s like being Jeremy Paxman I was thinking. Except he probably eats some kind of special up-to-the-minute news puree and drinks topical smoothies made for him by Fiona Bruce. Fuck the news. I hate news. Why on earth did I agree to go on the most full-on TV news quiz in the world? My brain is so full of shit TV and indie pop, there just isn’t enough room for Gordon Brown or Alex Salmond or any of those lavatories.
I arrived at the London Studios on the south bank at 5:30pm and was shown to my dressing room. A few minutes later I was taken to the studio to meet everyone and have a quick run through of the rounds. Appearing on the show with me were Armando Iannucci, who I know from Time Trumpet of course and Bill Bailey who I’ve met a few times and like a lot. I was on Ian Hislop’s team. He and Paul Merton were perfectly cordial but I found them both a little intimidating. Clever people who are very good at what they do tend to have that effect on me.
In contrast to Never Mind The Buzzcocks, there is no time spent preparing gags for the rounds with writers, they just show you the clips once so you can make a note of what they are and what order they come in. It was exactly like being back at school and getting ready to sit an exam you know you’re not prepared for. I watched in horror as the clips played and I realised that none of the news I had revised had come up! Nothing on Hawking in space, Kate Moss and her shit clothes line, Lord Browne and his jilted man-pal and unsurprisingly, nothing at all about the amazing solar power plant in Spain (why the hellbag did I spend so long reading about that one?!) I couldn’t even identify half the people in the VT’s let alone think of funny things to say about them. Afterwards Ian came to my dressing room to make sure I was OK with the clips and give me a few bits of advice for the show. “Just get in there early†he said. “Say anything. Sometimes people can get caught in the headlights a little bit and before they know it, the show’s over and they haven’t said a word.†Yup, I thought. That’s exactly what I’m going to be like. “Anything else you want to know?†said Ian. “Yeah, who’s Hazel Blears?†To his credit Ian didn’t flinch as he explained, but deep down he must have been thinking ‘what are you doing on this show?’ An hour or so later in front of the audience, as Hazel frigging Blears stared out at me from the video monitor I was asking myself the same question.
Bill Bailey was very conscientious about giving everyone as much time as they needed to chip in and contribute, but my head felt as if someone had flushed it as soon as the cameras started rolling and it was taking ages for my mental cistern to refill. A couple of times I thought ‘oh fuck it’ and just said something for the sake of it, as per Ian’s advice, but it was usually a little lame and smutty and mercifully none of it made it to the edit (a riff on the Gordon Brown’s odd mouth twitch being somehow related to his passion for blowjobs was especially shameful). I did manage one or two unbroadcast intrusions that got a big laugh but they were part of longer build-ups that would have taken too much time to include. I bet that’s what everyone who goes on that show says though, right? The truth is they probably used every vaguely funny comment I made and that worked out to about 4 things. However, that’s an average of one funny thing every 6 minutes of screen time, which for someone who didn’t know the answer to one single question is not bad I reckon. Anyway, the main thing was that everyone involved with the programme was extremely warm and friendly and made what could easily have been a trial into an enjoyable experience.
The night before the taping my Dad, without a trace of malice said to me, “Have I Got News For You is exactly the kind of programme on which you are thoroughly ill suited to appear. It’s full of people being witty and telling jokes and that’s not what you’re good at all.†My Ma, who was all excited about me appearing on proper telly, has remained conspicuously silent since the show went out so she perhaps agreed with that assessment. If only there was a quiz show all about Spoon. I’d be the king of that frickin’ prog.